As you pass the wide variety of liquor stores and bong shops on Haight street while heading westward you may find yourself in an area that smells a little bit less like piss than what you have just seen. This is a tourists best indication that they have crossed over the threshold of Stanyan street and into Golden Gate Park.
No longer will your vision be crowded by homeless people sitting on the sidewalk but instead by homeless people sitting on the parks otherwise mostly green grass. Unless you want to answer their requests for money make sure to shuffle past them quickly while keeping your head down, silently praying that their attention will be caught instead by some other tourist who doesn't know better than to pause in their journey.
After making it past the initial opening to the park and those that surround it you will come upon a pond tinted with an unnatural shade of green. What you are now gazing at in mixed confusion and wonder is what many in the area refer to as "Hep-C Pond". Take some time to stare deep into its murky waters and wonder what combination of pollutants could produce this sickly of a color. Whatever you do though don't dip a toe in, it's called Hep-C Pond for a reason!
Continue on from here through a fake stucco cave that opens up into the larger section of the park and towards numerous different attractions stuffed with tourists. At some point in your trip along this path you will almost certainly be offered the opportunity to purchase any of a number of different substances by a friendly man and his cohorts. It is not uncommon to receive three or even four of these offers on your walk so make sure that if you're that type of person you've brought at least a little bit of cash with you.
After a short walk on the path after the tunnel you should see a large, open area overlooked by a hill. This is the famous "Hippie Hill" you've probably heard so much about. In addition to other groups of homeless the hill is almost always populated by packs of kids from the local high schools and colleges, many of whom can be observed smoking an unidentifiable substance that reminds you of your own college days. Those not smoking anything may also be on a trip of their own, but one that is very different from the one that you're on.
Moving on from here you'll most likely find a large drum circle blocking the path forward. In addition to people banging on drums, garbage cans, and other "instruments" there should be people dancing to the uncoordinated mashup of noise as well. Push your way through this crowd and past Hippie Hill as a whole.
From this point the best thing to do is to just forget about everything you've seen and keep walking deeper into the park. Despite everything you've just encountered it actually does have some redeeming qualities and there are in fact quite a few nice things to see. If you can manage to do that your time in Golden Gate Park should be one of the highlights of your day.
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